tjw61
04-20-2005, 06:41 PM
Eva Longoria has done something very bad. She is most likely involved with a married man, or is secretly married herself, or is pregnant, or possibly carrying a married man in her uterus. We're assuming this because she is, suddenly and inexplicably, employing The Angelina Jolie Recipe for Diverting Attention; i.e. talking about lezzie encounters.
The Desperate Housewife extolled the virtues of same-sex spit-swapping in the latest issue of Esquire, thus effectively piquing the interest of the 10% of the heterosexual male population that isn't already obsessed with her. She said she and a female buddy were vacationing in Las Vegas when the friend kissed her. Not just kissed, but frenched! "She leaned over and kissed me goodbye," Eva told the mag. "It was surprising and shocking--but not unpleasant." Not unpleasant. It isn't quite up to Jolie "I will clam-slam anything with a vagina" par, but it's a nice start. Still, there is plenty of room for Eva to grow into her new omnisexual persona, since she claims she didn't even like humping until this year. "I just came into my own sexuality here at thirty. I remember after my first sexual experience thinking 'Oh, that's what the fuss is about?' I don't think it's something you can deeply experience at eighteen or any time before that - it was too personal and emotional for me to be valid at that age." We'll try to overlook the fact that she's been dating *NSYNC's JC Chasez, and he may very well have been that man who brought her out of her sexual shell. That's like picturing NKOTB's Danny Wood grunting atop Jessica Alba or something. :whisltes
The Desperate Housewife extolled the virtues of same-sex spit-swapping in the latest issue of Esquire, thus effectively piquing the interest of the 10% of the heterosexual male population that isn't already obsessed with her. She said she and a female buddy were vacationing in Las Vegas when the friend kissed her. Not just kissed, but frenched! "She leaned over and kissed me goodbye," Eva told the mag. "It was surprising and shocking--but not unpleasant." Not unpleasant. It isn't quite up to Jolie "I will clam-slam anything with a vagina" par, but it's a nice start. Still, there is plenty of room for Eva to grow into her new omnisexual persona, since she claims she didn't even like humping until this year. "I just came into my own sexuality here at thirty. I remember after my first sexual experience thinking 'Oh, that's what the fuss is about?' I don't think it's something you can deeply experience at eighteen or any time before that - it was too personal and emotional for me to be valid at that age." We'll try to overlook the fact that she's been dating *NSYNC's JC Chasez, and he may very well have been that man who brought her out of her sexual shell. That's like picturing NKOTB's Danny Wood grunting atop Jessica Alba or something. :whisltes